Two Iraqis in Amsterdam

It’s never easy to come ‘home’. I hate to admit it mostly because I wish it was different and I am embarrassed about it. Iraq is my home and it takes time when I return to the Netherlands to adjust, to settle in. I feel alone, lonely and lost. My heart is open and everything hits hard because I am tired. I feel guilty for not being able to see dear friends, I feel disappointment towards myself. I basically just don’t know what to do with myself. It’s part of transition and I know it will pass. But today I thought I would feel like this for the whole christmas holidays.
Until I met this guy, my Uber driver who was going to take me to the train station. We started to chat. After 30 seconds I said: “Sir, where are you from?”. He looked a bit surprised but answered: “I AM FROM BAGHDAD, Iraq”. My mouth fell open. “ME TOO, I live in Erbil”. His mouth fell open. “I just came from Baghdad last night”. His chin dropped further.
A wonderful conversation followed, about one thing that we have in common: a shared frustration with the injustice of life in Iraq. Talking about this made me feel acknowledged, so not alone anymore at all. He told me how his brother was murdered by the regime in 1981 and how he himself had to flee the country because he was also seen as ‘a state enemy’. And how he has been trying ever since to share the truth with everyone who could maybe make an end to the corruption and injustice that is still existing. It was so beautiful that we had this moment together, in a car towards the train station. So open, raw, honest and real.
At the end of the journey he said: “Anne, can I please give you my contacts and can you please promise me that you will call me when you need help, with ANYTHING, here in the Netherlands or in Iraq?”. Living in NL had definitely not washed away the typical Iraqi trait of generosity and hospitality…! I smiled. He smiled back, gave me his number and said: “Meeting you today has made my day Anne!”. I smiled back and said: “Meeting you today has saved my day Andilbast”. We said goodbye in Arabic. His smile was big. And I found my ground in the Netherlands again. Marhaba ❤️

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